


For As Long As You Want

by pessen03



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 8th year, Anal Sex, Angst, Coming Out, Dating, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Established, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Frotting, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Possessiveness, Secret Relationship, UST, bottom-draco, top-harry, virgin(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessen03/pseuds/pessen03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is tired of Draco’s jealousy and Draco has just the right way to make Harry understand how it feels to be insecure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For As Long As You Want

”Potter! What the hell is this shit?”

Harry saw his boyfriend march towards him and he knew this was going to be another of those fights. 

“Can we maybe talk about this later Draco? I’ll be at our usual spot around eight.” 

Draco didn’t respond, but threw a paper in Harry’s face. The front page of today’s Prophet was yet again featuring Harry’s face and the headline “How to catch yourself a hero!” 

“Draco, how many times have I told you not to let The Prophet get to you like that?” Harry sighed. “I don’t understand why you are so jealous all the time, don’t you know how I feel?”

“That’s exactly why I’m feeling this way, Harry.” Draco fixed his eyes on the floor. “Do you remember the first words you said to me after we first got together at that stupid welcome back party?”

Harry tried, but he only remembered the feelings that evening. The spark he’d felt deep down every time his eyes had met Draco’s. The way his body had vibrated at Draco’s first touch. 

_They glided across the room like magnets, ignoring everybody else, just staring at each other. When Harry left for the loo, Draco followed him and spelled the doors locked before he leaned into Harry’s back, placing his hands on Harry’s hips. Harry moaned into the touch before leaping away. Draco stalked closer to Harry in an instant, pushing him against the wall._

_“I didn’t know, Merlin, if I had known about this earlier,” Draco whispered._

_Harry was unsure, but whimpered when Draco nuzzled his neck. “I never… I haven’t… This is not… I don’t know…”_

_“You don’t have to be afraid, I’ll take care of you,” Draco said just before kissing Harry._

_Harry’s mind raced. He’d never even though about being with a boy, but he could hardly focus on having a nervous breakdown the way Draco made his blood rush._

_Draco let his hands roam over Harry’s body while he kissed him deeply. Draco was not new to these feelings, although he felt that Harry might be. He’d had a crush on Harry for several months now and was ecstatic about their chemistry at the party earlier. He’d never thought he would have Harry in his arms, but now that he had him, he wasn’t letting go._

_“Fuck, I want you!” Draco groaned out between kisses. Draco pushed Harry firmly against the wall and started frotting desperately against Harry’s own hard-on._

_Harry didn’t know what to say, or what to do for that matter, he just settled on feeling and rubbing back against Draco until they both came._

Harry had been mostly shocked at what they had done, but also unbelievably happy and lethargic. He didn’t remember saying anything that would make Draco look at him like that just now.

Thinking Harry wouldn’t answer, Draco looked into his eyes and said, “’Don’t mention this to anybody.’ That’s what you said and it was over six months ago, and what have I done since then? I’ve sneaked around meeting you whenever you found a nice hideout. I’ve watched girls, and boys for that matter, fall over themselves to impress you in hopes you would give them attention. You are even flirting back, playing the very much single Casanova-hero who saved the whole Wizarding world! I’ve read the stupid articles about how you someday want to meet that special person and finally get stability in your life. I’ve even heard you several times deny the fact that you are gay, like that were a deadly and contagious disease you should be ashamed of. We’re supposed to be in a serious relationship and you treat me like I would be your downfall.” 

Harry watched Draco walk out of the deserted hallway, not knowing what to say to make Draco stay.

***

Harry didn’t know what he should expect. Draco was probably not going to show up after the fight earlier in the day, but to his surprise, Draco was there, waiting for him at a quarter to eight. 

It really hurt Harry seeing Draco sad, especially knowing it was because of him that Draco felt like this. Without saying a word, Harry sat beside Draco, laying his arm around him and Draco found his way to Harry’s chest in a second. “You know why I can’t just go public with this,” Harry said quietly.

“I know your reasons, Harry, but it doesn’t make these feelings go away.”

“The Prophet is on me all the time and I don’t want more attention. I did the things everyone wanted me to do. I defeated Voldemort, but now all I want to do is to be left alone. What would everyone say if the “conqueror of the dark” were together with a former Death Eater, not to mention being irrefutable gay? They would never leave us alone.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” Draco wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

“I’m not! I promise, Draco, I’m really not ashamed of you. Somehow you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m so afraid to lose you. 

“Then are you ashamed of yourself, Harry?”

Harry looked pained, Draco noticed. 

“I’m just not used to this ‘being gay’-thing. I never thought this would be an issue. A part of me is still afraid of what people would say about me, yet another part is still on a constant high just because of the thought of you.” Harry reached out to touch Draco’s cheek. “Every time I see you, there’s a buzzing though my whole body and I just want to go over to you and take you in my arms. I never thought that I would feel this way about anyone.”

Draco leaned into the touch. “So why don’t you want to be with me for real? We could sit together at meals, walk to class and spend free time together. If people knew, we could even spend some nights together. Whatever might be the reason for this relationship not going forward, it can be solved. You don’t even tell me you love me back. Don’t you love me, Harry? I want you to touch me, and to kiss me like you mean it.” Draco blushed.

“Don’t I kiss you like I mean it? Because I do mean it!” Harry said to distract Draco from the even bigger question. In truth, he was unsure of the kissing, since the biggest part of his teenage years had been about fighting the dark arts, not sexual activities.

Draco turned around and crawled up in Harry’s lap, kissing his mouth and his jaw on the way to his ear. “I want to know that you can feel it, too. This need to be close to you, to feel you, to taste you. I don’t want to wait anymore, Harry! I want to be yours in every possible way.”

“Draco, please,” Harry said leaning away from Draco. “I’m not really there yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you, because I do. I think about you when we are apart. I dream about you through the night and Merlin yes, I want to be with you like that. You are gorgeous and funny and sweet and everything I want in a partner, but you just have to give me a little more time.”

“So there’s really no one else? No one you want more than me? Because if you’re truly not secure about your sexuality, it would be easier to just to leave me and pick up one of the hundreds girls that are trying to entice you.”

“There is really, truly no one else I would rather spend my time with. But Draco, this has to stop. I can’t live through this insecurity all the time. I just don’t want this jealousy, or tantrums for that matter, to question my fidelity and love towards you. I love you, Draco Malfoy. Neither of our past is important. I don’t care what sides of the war we were on or how we grew up or what we are going to with our lives. We’ll work this out, and eventually, I really do plan on coming out.” 

“I’ll tell you what, Harry. I’m going to see how it makes you feel when I do the same to you.”

Harry was confused. “I don’t understand, Draco.”

“Next week, at the Valentine’s party, I’m going to flirt with someone else and you are free to stop me anytime. Actually, since you’re such a fan of flirting, I dare you to stop me before I kiss someone else. Let’s see if you like how it feels to be jealous. Let me know if you are ready to stand up for yourself, and me, for that matter. I’m nobody’s dirty little secret, Harry Potter. I am Draco Malfoy!”

***

This was a bad idea, Harry mused. His actual plan for Valentine’s day was being huddled up somewhere cozy with Draco, not this!

Draco was gliding around the big hall with skintight clothes, messed up hair and a flirtatious smile. Harry had never been more turned on than right now. 

Harry was lousy company right now, and he knew it. All he did was stare at Draco, following him around the hall and trying to put a subtle stop to Draco’s plans. He wasn’t jealous, he had nothing to be jealous about. Draco had always been clear about his feelings for Harry, so therefore he knew that Draco was not going to leave him. No matter what this evening would bring. 

Harry was almost certain.

Maybe there was some truth in what Draco had said. Harry wasn’t the best boyfriend in the world, but then again, he’d never claimed he would be. Fuck! Why did Draco have to make such a big deal of this!

Of course Harry wanted Draco! All of him! Harry wanted to grab Draco, kiss him possessively and claim him right there in front of everybody. He wanted to spend his days with Draco, talking, holding hands or just sitting in comfortable silence, doing their homework together. Harry wanted to spend the nights with Draco as well. He wanted to feel Draco against him at night, to be able to hold him and kiss him without the fear of someone walking in on them. Harry wanted to touch and taste everything on Draco and he wanted to shag him like he’d dreamed of all this time.

Draco wasn’t enjoying himself. He looked around the dance floor and saw everyone pair up with their loved one like in a bad movie. He wanted to be there, holding Harry in his arms and showing everyone how truly happy he could make Draco. 

Instead, Draco was here being shamelessly hit on by a freaking Muggleborn Hufflepuff! But it was all right, this was all to make Harry jealous and this bloke - Finch-Fletchley was it? - would definitely make Harry’s blood boil in seconds. Draco knew Harry couldn’t stand the guy.

Harry saw Justin Finch-Fletchley walk towards Draco, his Draco, with a predatory gleam in his eyes. There was no way his intentions were innocent. Justin leaned over to Draco and whispered something in his ear. Harry couldn’t stand it. He wanted to go over and push the boy away from Draco and say that no one was ever going to get him, but that would mean outing both himself and Draco. 

Draco was questioning his dare with Harry now. Finch-Fletchley was leaning in, talking to Draco like he was for hire and touching him everywhere. If Harry wasn’t going to be jealous over this, Draco was afraid nothing would do the trick. He wanted to end the dare and resume his secret relationship with Harry even though it would break him down. A little of Harry was better that none.

Harry’s friends started to notice his foul mood and asked what was wrong. Harry pondered telling them all about Draco but was too much of a coward in the end. What was Harry unsure of, really? Yes The Prophet would write a lot of shit about him and Draco, but they would do that no matter what Harry did with his life. He was the boy who lived, the chosen one, the defeater of the Dark Lord! The Wizarding world would have to survive with him being gay and they would have to accept that he was dating Draco Malfoy, a former Death Eater. They would, wouldn’t they?

When Justin caressed Draco’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss, Harry had enough. Without thinking, he leaped across the room to shove Justin away from Draco. 

“Don’t do it! Please, Draco, I don’t want you to be with anyone else!” Without letting Draco answer, Harry kissed him. Draco was pleased, but he was mainly shocked motionless. Harry’s kiss was insistent and had Draco open up and sigh into Harry’s mouth. 

“Everybody is watching us,” Draco said as soon as he could.

“I don’t care anymore, let them,” Harry said before kissing Draco again.

“Then let’s take this somewhere else, where I can taste more of you,” Draco whispered, dragging Harry away from a hall full of stunned students and teachers. 

***

Draco was kissing Harry hungrily while opening his robes. “Fuck, Harry, I want you. Please touch me!”

“Draco, wait, please just wait a second,” Harry pleaded. “You were right, I don’t want you to be with anyone else and the sight of someone flirting with you while you did nothing to discourage him made me mad with jealousy. I won’t take you for granted again or hide you away if you promise me the same, but that doesn’t mean exactly what you think. I still think we should wait with this.” Harry gestured awkwardly between them. 

“You still don’t want to be with me?” Draco asked unsure. “You don’t want to shag me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Aren’t you turned on by me? Are you never going to want this?” Draco knew he was lashing out but he was too hurt to care. 

Harry snapped and kissed Draco again, this time with more force and determination. “Can’t you see how much I want you, Draco?” Harry rasped out. “I think about you all the fucking time, can’t you see how beautiful you are? I just want to take you right here, but I know I can’t.”

“But, why?” Draco pleaded. “I want you too, I’ve wanted you for longer than I want to admit.”

“I…” Harry started. “I didn’t have the typical upbringing, and even coming here at eleven didn’t give me any sort of normalcy. When you guys went around growing up and dating and all that, I was trained to kill Voldemort. I am 18 years old and haven’t done anything else than kissing, and I’m afraid of disappointing you.” Harry wanted to leave, having to say this to Draco. 

“You are a virgin?” 

Harry nodded at Draco’s question.

“I understand if that’s not what you wanted, Draco. It just hasn’t been an issue before. I’ve fancied a couple of people and wanted to kiss them, but they haven’t done what you are doing to me just standing here. I haven’t wanted to be intimate with them in the way I want to with you.”

“Harry,” Draco said, smiling. “I don’t know if you ever noticed, but I was kind of busy during the war as well. Dating was far from a priority.”

“So you won’t leave me for being bad in bed?” Harry joked. 

“Well, we’ll just have to teach each other, don’t we?” Draco said, kissing Harry. “Now, what do you say about doing something about this wretched virginity of ours?”

“Hell yes!” Harry exclaimed. 

***

Harry sat on the bed and started to fumble with his robes.

“Let me,” Draco said, putting his hands over Harry’s. 

Harry bit his lips while Draco parted Harry’s robes. They had never been undressed in front of each other before and even though Harry was nervous, he couldn’t wait to see Draco.

Draco motioned for Harry to lie down while he undid Harry’s trousers and pulled them down along with his pants. Harry fidgeted uncomfortably when Draco stared at his hard cock, but got excited seeing Draco’s eyes widen with amazement. 

“I want you, Draco,” Harry whispered insecurely.

“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you, Harry,” Draco said with reverence. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll take care of you.”

Harry was warmed by Draco’s tone of voice as well as his promise. It brought back memories from their first encounter all those months ago in the bathroom. He knew Draco would take care of him.

“I want to see you too, Draco.” 

Draco stood up and undressed quickly before he settled himself over Harry’s hips.

“Draco!” Harry groaned out at their first contact without clothes.

“Yeah…” Draco panted, leaning down to kiss Harry’s neck and collarbone while his hand caressed Harry’s abdomen. “Tell me if you ever want me to stop, Harry. I mean it; we can wait if you’re truly not ready.”

“I am, Draco. I want you, I do.”

“Do you know what to do?” Draco asked hesitantly, wishing Harry wouldn’t take it as an insult. 

“I… I think so; what’s there to know?” Harry blushed.

“Do you mind if I bottom?” Draco asked. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

“Yeah, I want that too,” Harry gasped at the realization that this was going to happened. “I’m not going to hurt you, right?” 

“No, there are ways to prevent that. Let’s take the lessons slow and start with magical help this time,” Draco said, reaching for his wand, still in his trousers on the floor.

“There are spells for stretching, lube and protection.” Draco waved his wand over himself and winced at the new sensations.

“Oh, that’s brilliant!” Harry said, smiling. “Much better than the Muggle way.”

“You’ll have to show me that sometime,” Draco winked. “Now, where were we?”

Draco leaned down over Harry again and kissed him lightly on the lips. Harry was sighing under him and Draco continued to kiss Harry on the side of his mouth, over his cheekbones, up to his brows and on his closed eyelids. He nestled his hands into Harry’s hair and put his mouth just over Harry’s ear.

“I love you, Harry,” Draco whispered. “There has never been anyone else.”

Draco felt how Harry froze for a second and looked up at his now crying boyfriend.

“What’s wrong, love? Did I do something wrong?” 

Harry refused to even look at Draco.

“Please, Harry, talk to me,” Draco pleaded with him, feeling anxious.

“Please, don’t leave me, Draco. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. Don’t leave me! Promise never to leave me!”

“Why would I leave you? I’m never going to leave you, Harry. Why would you think that?”

“You wouldn’t understand. I just never wanted my life before.” Harry didn’t know how to keep his feelings in any more. “I don’t remember the time before my parents were killed and then I had to live with relatives who never wanted me. They never cared about me, it’s even amazing that they gave me the things I did have considering how they just wanted me out of their lives.”

Draco had heard rumors of the ‘Golden Boy’s’ upbringing, but he’d never known what to believe. 

“When I came to Hogwarts, I found a home for the first time in my life,” Harry continued. “I found friends and I wasn’t alone anymore. I somehow belonged and was wanted, but I still wasn’t safe. I never wanted to become the front soldier, leader, in a war. I was molded into a role without even knowing it and then I even had to sacrifice myself in the end. And I had to get through all of this with people watching and commenting. The Prophet doesn’t care about what their lies do to me. I just wanted to be normal, like anybody else. I know what others expect me to do with my life, and falling for you will blow them the same way it did with me in the beginning. But never think for one minute that I’m ashamed of you. I want to give my all to you and not be afraid of what I’m feeling. I do want us to be public, I want to hold your hand, walk with you and just be with you day and night.”

Draco didn’t know what to say and was afraid he was looking at Harry with too much pity in his face.

“It doesn’t matter now anyway,” Harry said, feeling sorry about dragging this up now. “I just wanted to say that I never wanted to live my life, until now. I love you, Draco Malfoy. I know I never tell you, but I feel it, every day I feel how much I love you. I never thought that it would be you, making me feel this way, but now I think it was always meant to be like this. You see who I really am and you couldn’t care less about the things people praise me for. You treat me like anybody else, you push my buttons and keep me alert. You make me feel your love and I’ve never felt so special or loved in my life.”

Draco had to swallow the lump in his throat. Harry truly loved him. Draco had never been this happy before. “I love you too! I always will.” Draco sat up and slowly sank down on Harry’s hard cock.

Harry was taken by surprise by Draco’s action. “Yes, Draco, I love you! I love you so much!”

Draco wasn’t expecting to feel this way. He had fingered himself a few times when he was too desperate to be filled, but this… Harry’s cock was so much more. He was groaning, going up and down on Harry’s cock. Harry held Draco by his hips, looking almost overwhelmed by feelings. 

“Mine!” Harry pulled Draco down on top of his chest and kissed him possessively. “I’m never letting you go, Draco!” 

“I never want to be let go of,” Draco panted when Harry started to thrust up into him.

Harry reached out and took hold of Draco’s cock. He felt it in his hands and thought he never wanted to forget this moment and the way Draco looked right now.

Harry started to stroke Draco in between thrusts. 

“Harry, I’m going to come if you continue that!” Draco warned. 

“Yes, please, Draco! Do that. Come, baby I want your come on me!” Harry wheezed as he sped up his actions. He was going to come as well any second now.

“I’m so close, Harry. Kiss me!” Draco pleaded.

As soon as Harry’s lips touched Draco’s, he felt him shudder above him just before feeling Draco’s come land on his abdomen. Knowing Draco had come because of what Harry did, as well as feeling him squeeze him from the inside, made Harry come, shouting “I love you!” into Draco’s mouth.

Draco was feeling tingling all over his body while he lay panting on Harry’s chest. “I want to do that again, Harry!” Draco laughed.

“Anytime you want, baby,” Harry answered sleepily. “Do you want to vanish this mess and come snuggle?” 

“There is nothing I’d rather do, my love.” Draco kissed Harry’s cheek. “I love you, Harry. You’ll have me as long as you want.”

“Forever, then?” Harry smiled.

“Yeah!” Draco mused. “Forever would be perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> written for smoochfest 2011


End file.
